My husband, JohnnyArtini, makes amazing cocktails, including:

John E’s Dirty Martini

Now, most bartenders will make a martini with 1 or 2 olives while he uses 9 small ones or 4 big ones. Always ask for your olives on the side because you get more liquor in your drink.

  • small olives (with pimento)
    • pitted olives can be stuffed with cocktail onions using a toothpick for stability
  • your choice of vodka (Belvedere Vodka is personally recommended by my wife, Angeli Quad)
  • a martini glass (a margarita glass works well, too)
  • Fill a tumbler (large tumbler-like glass) with ice to create your mixing glass
  • Pour in as much vodka as you want to drink into the glass
  • Grab a long-handled stir stick (we recommend a shish-ka-bob skewer or chop stick of any size) *nothing spoon-like
  • Stir vodka with ice really, really, really fast until you see a whirlpool funnel in the center then continue for 30 seconds
  • Let sit for 2 minutes (so you can stop feeling dizzy or for a chill and smoke break)
  • Stir for 30 seconds
  • Add as much olive juice as you want; the rule is, the more juice it is saltier and more mellow
  • Stir for 30 seconds – create a whirlpool
  • Place your hand over the top of the mixing glass and slowly strain the mixture into the Martini (Margarita, or whatever you have) glass
  • Add 9 small olives (you can add less, but not 2!)


Carefully bring your John E’s Dirty Martini to your favorite (and permanent for the night) seating area, with your chosen hottie, and toast your night away!